Untied Laces

Before ‘I Do’

Cold feet, a cold heart and constricted veins, clothes all soaky and wet he stood in the heavy downpour allowing it to wash him clean. Clean of the troubled soul, clean of the broken heart and clean of the scraggy emotions. We all do it at some point, at times we prefer it rather than shaving because it is not that common. But does the soul really heal? Do the broken pieces retort, fix perfectly into one another? Crystal after crystal?


There comes a point in a life when man outflanks everything and derives priority in his marriage life. A focus and evaluation on his family, not the domicile one but one of his own, his own wife that he will come back to, children he will be proud of, ones that will run to him each evening when he comes back home, ones that will interfere with their call between him and their mum just to say how much they miss him. A family he can be proud of, a LEGACY worth to be admired and talked about. Mum tells me, a man’s success is not how much money he has made, but what type of family he has brought up.


Nobody wakes up in one just like a dream come true, you have to make it. Now they say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder but some qualities in a lady are certain and universal to any man on planet earth. We (men) all want a beautiful woman, an independent woman, a smart woman both physically and intellectually, a woman who can relate well with people and is propitious. Now the world has never been fair, one, such a lady is scanty to come by and if you do then a man finds two at a go and he is left iffy.


Many of the thought ‘perfect’ couples still separate and the bond remains sour and miserable because most men will only focus on beauty and financial independence but there is a trick to it all. No human is an angel, we all have a dark side, a side most men don’t see in beautiful women or maybe it’s because love is blind?

Just before, just before the first step into it, just before you walk down the aisle, just before you say I do it is important to just know what exactly you are getting yourself into. There are four main things you need to consider in a lady as a man and vice versa.


First thing is understanding. What are some of the traits you would understand in your partner, what are the things people see as odd but you think when your better half does it is fine. They are what you derive your ‘identity’ in because they are silly but yet only make sense between the two of you? Once you find this then you are quarter way.


Aforementioned was the the fact that you should not hurry and that the greatest achievement is fine ding the negatives in the angel you want to spend the rest of your life with. Acceptance is the second thing on the list. Find out the objectionable characters within him or her that you will accept, recognize that we all are NOT perfect and therefore we all have an infirmity. Do not ignore this during the early stages then expect them to change later.


A good market attracts investors. Now we are always enthralled by something good in the other person that is why we take the bold step to engage. There are qualities that we do appreciate in the other person and this should be the glue that sticks us to them. Is it the beauty? Is it the nice voice? Or is it the sharp brains? But above all let them know you appreciate these qualities in them.


Ultimately, we all look for a life time partner or rather someone we will spend the better part of our life with. One needs to consider the characters in the better half that he or she is ready to live with. This is like knowing you are deaf and accept that it is your condition and there is nothing you can do about it to a point that you no longer see it as a frailty. This is the final and most importunate stage as this are usually the worst conditions you have to accept in a person. Just before you ‘I DO‘ watch the four factors out